Mixed Feelings about having Sex or a Relationship

| April 16, 2012 | 0 Comments

It’s not uncommon for people to have mixed feelings about having sex and/or a relationship with someone else, or to wonder if it’ll ever happen for them.

One of the common myths about gay men and lesbians is that they don’t have long term relationships. This is not true. Lesbian, gay, and bisexual people do have positive sexual relationships and experiences that include genuine feelings of love, affection and pride in their sexual identity.Valuing yourself, taking your time and using your best judgement may help to make your sexual experiences fun, exciting and satisfying.

As with any person of any sexuality if you choose to have sex with someone, you should think about protecting yourself against Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI’s) such as HIV/AIDS. From more information on STI’s, check out sexual health, or have a look at Think Contraception or Your Sexual Health.

I get scared and down sometimes

It may not be easy to realise that you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. It’s not uncommon to hear jokes, wrong ideas and hurtful stereotypes about gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. Even when they are not directed at you they may be hurtful.

You may worry that you are the only young person experiencing these feelings, but you’re not. Research shows that 5-10% of the population identifies as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender.

It may be stressful worrying whether others will find out about your feelings. Other people, and sometimes ourselves, may fear what they don’t understand. The majority of people who have accepted their sexuality and themselves are happy and would not want it any other way. Acknowledging that part of yourself is a brave thing to do. Being brave and courageous does not mean you don’t get scared. It doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help.

Even when you are comfortable with your same sex attractions and feelings, life may continue to present challenges. If possible try not to judge yourself for feeling sad or scared. Many young people found meeting or talking to other young people with the same experiences helped them to feel less alone. Having the support of people who understand may help you feel better about yourself. There are a number of services that may be able to help you if you are feeling isolated and alone. Services such as BeLonG To have youth groups and youth workers to talk to when you are feeling down or just want a chat.


 This content was adapted from ReachOut.com

Category: Mixed Feelings about having Sex or a Relationship, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality and Coming Out

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